When my children grew up and left home, time was spent caring for sick parents, visiting nursing homes to see a parent or a grandparent, and teaching students. My days were busy. After loved ones had passed, life at times was sad and lonely. My children live 3,000 miles away, and with the different time zones, communication and staying connected presented a challenge.
Over the years, I've adapted and changed my expectations, or perhaps grown spiritually and realized that I am enough, and I have a best friend in my husband. But still, I do crave comaraderie, like-minded exchange of humor and laughs, and an outing with a friend. This summer, I journaled while reading Seeds of Freedom by Heather Marie Wilson.
One of the exercises in the book was to select "core values" from a list, and then write 10 of the values in a journal.
I had an aha moment when I chose "connection". The more I thought about connection and my feelings about friendship, an awareness unfolded, almost a validation of my feelings. I thought, "This is why I desire friendship." I need connection in my life. What a relief to put a value to the mix of feelings I had about friendship and my disappointments if others were too busy or hadn't reached out to me.
I had felt like I was the one who made the effort, and sometimes there was a feeling of rejection or not being enough when others did not reciprocate. We're all busy with our own families and work, but I still wanted connection. Branching out, reconnecting with friends with like interests helped to ease my feelings of lack and brought joy into my life.
I am still working on exploring my passions and what brings me joy, as I work in my "Life Garden" by nurturing the seeds of what I value. This year I am nurturing my seeds of "creativity, connection, and Love". Trying to be a friend, giving it over, and watching what unfolds. Trusting in God and the universe to provide. Believing I am where I need to be and that I am Loved. Giving thanks for the people that connect with me and nurture me with their friendship.
Thank you, Ruth for your insight and celebration!
